How to Focus on Your Own Bariatric Surgery Success

Bariatric surgery is a personal decision and journey, and it’s something you may do for your own health and quality of life. All too often, though, your bariatric surgery journey success starts to be measured against other people. That can become toxic and undermine your own choices and success.

Instead, it’s best to keep your head down and focus on yourself. While that may be easier said than done, it’s possible to focus on yourself. Here are some ways to focus on your own bariatric surgery success.

1. Set Your Own Goals

While knowing average weight loss can help you put goals in context, your goals should be based on what you can do. Ask your surgeon for help setting weight goals. They can be based on things like starting body weight, type of surgery, and history of weight loss.

When you set goals, include goals around weight loss over the next few weeks, months, and years. Also think about goals for behaviors, such as what you’ll eat or how much activity you’ll do. These goals should be individual and based on realistic factors. You may hear stories about 100 or more pounds of weight loss in less than a year, but that’s not necessarily your best goal. It’s more important to set realistic goals, achieve them, and prevent regain than to lose weight quickly initially. 

2. Focus on Choices

Even if you define bariatric surgery success in terms of weight loss, there are other ways to measure success that are just as valid. You can stay inwardly focused if you think about your own choices, such as eating the way your surgeon told you to. These are things that you can control, and they’re not related to what other people may do. 

These are some examples of good choices to make on a daily basis.

• Hitting your protein goals
• Drinking plenty of water
• Keeping portions small
• Chewing slowly and enjoying each bite
• Being physically active
• Contacting your healthcare team when you have questions or concerns

If you make good choices consistently, your weight will show it. You deserve to succeed with great choices, so focus on them and not on what other people are doing or how they look.

3. Remember Your Reasons

Why did you get bariatric surgery? It may have been for your health or for your quality of life. Whatever your own personal reasons were for deciding to get bariatric surgery, they were probably all about you. They probably had nothing to do with whether you could beat John Doe the Average Bariatric Surgery Patient, Jane Smith the Average Patient at Your Surgeon’s Office, or Mr. Anonymous on an online message board. 

When you’re tempted to compare yourself to others, step back and think about why you got bariatric surgery. Are you making strides towards being able to keep up with your grandchildren for the afternoon? Has your healthcare provider mentioned that your lab values are better, or that you may be able to lower doses of medications in the future? Have you been able to sleep better due to less sleep apnea? These are reasons to get bariatric surgery, and they’re not related to beating other people.

4. Stay Away from Toxic People

Toxic people are those who try to make you feel bad. They can do it by comparing their weight loss to yours, or by comparing your weight loss to that of other people. If asking these people to stop these hurtful comparisons doesn’t make them stop, stay away from them. This applies to toxic people online, too.

5. Praise Yourself

What you tell yourself actually matters. Just like when someone else tells you positive things, when you continually tell yourself that you’re doing great, it’s easier to believe it. 

These are some things you can praise yourself for.

• Losing weight
• Overcoming a plateau
• Sticking with the plan even if you didn’t lose weight
• Making good decisions when you were faced with challenges, such as in many social settings

It can be a good idea to set aside a regular time daily to think about what great things you did that day. You can also practice recognizing good choices throughout the day. Eventually, the positivity will become more natural. When you are positive, you can be more confident and then make even better decisions.

6. Keep Quiet When You Want

Some people have no boundaries. They seem to think that your weight, health, or medical history are fair game for discussion. If you don’t want that to be true, don’t discuss these topics with anyone that you don’t want to discuss them with. 

It’s probably fair to let them know that you don’t want to talk about such things. That way, they have a chance to stop saying things that may be hurtful or none of their business. These are some things you can say.

• “I don’t want to discuss my weight.”
• “My doctor and I have a plan.”
• “Let’s stick to talking about less personal topics.”
• “I appreciate your interest, but I’d rather talk about something else.”

If they don’t respect your clear wishes, you can just stop answering questions or statements that you don’t want to answer. Either change the subject or walk away. 

7. Hang Around Positive People

Just as toxic people can drag you down, and just as positive self-talk can lift you up, hanging around positive people can lift you up. Look for friends and family members who make you feel happy. They may directly support your bariatric surgery and your weight loss journey, or they may simply be with you and make you feel like a valuable person. Either way, if you feel good around them, you can have more energy to focus on yourself and your own journey.

Bariatric surgery is a very personal surgery, but it often turns into a competitive frenzy. That’s not productive or fair, since we all have different bodies, situations, and surgery types. Instead, it’s better to focus on yourself and your own choices and progress. By staying positive and looking inward instead of outwards, it can be easier to focus on your own bariatric surgery success and to achieve your goals.